NARRATOR (Mark): We take you now to the garage of your average American band, trying to find their identity in city Number 277.
STAN: Yeah, right.
DARREN: Hey guys, let's be a band.
STAN: Yeah, yeah!
NATE: Yeah, but what kind of band should we be?
JOHN: Rock out, dude: let's be like Van Halen!
STAN: Yeahhh!
(rock music starts; the band attempts to wail like metal singers)
MARK: We can play at The Zoo, man!
STAN: Oh no no, man, no: metal bands can't play at The Blue!
DARREN: But oho, but reggae bands can!
NATE: Two nights, usually!
STAN: Alright!
MARK: Yeah, mon, let's play! Yeah, mon!
STAN: We can charge $6.50, mon!
NATE: Oh, I dunno, it might work …
JOHN: Wait, there was only one Bob Marley, dudes.
WHOLE BAND: That's true, yeah.
STAN: Hey, let's just be ourselves!
WHOLE BAND: In Fresno?!
MARK: (singing “Heart of the Matter”): Does anybody belong here?
If we can be strong we belong here!
NARRATOR (Mark): And so it goes: Tales of Young Robert have found an identity. Meet them Friday, Septmber 16th, at The Wild Blue.
WHOLE BAND: Not recommended for children or Republicans!!!
DARREN: Or people who like a sixty-forty split!